alexgrey.comBecause self-healing is so arduous of a process, not many start, and even less continue and finish it. In its foundation, self-healing revolves around the philosophy that we are never completely healthy. That may sound a bit depressing, but I think whoever came up with this notion, saw through their mind's eye that during our lifetimes we experience continuous depletions of our energy level, so healing here is identified as the opposite - filling up of our energy level, which includes taking care of our luminous energetic structure.
For me self-healing officially started many years ago when I was a depressed teenager still coming out of that dark ages that were the high school and the 1st or so years of college. Even though I was good and was functioning pretty well in general I felt somewhat depleted. There was a constant unsettling feeling in me that I couldn't explain and although I was a jolly kid, I still felt that there was something missing in my life. As I mentioned in another post, I took up philosophy and exercised to make myself feel better. But that was only the beginning, and although I thank the Protectors, and Others for providing myself with the chance to lift myself out, I have to say that that was only a beginning of a very long process, throughout which the only constant that has remained is probably my own basic ignorance about the cause and effect. Alas, I was to experience a revival and when my family moved to a different neighborhood I met new friends and started doing yoga and meditating and going to the park to work on some parallel bars and such. That was a great feeling and my life experienced an overall shift. It lasted for quite a while, during which people came and went, but I remained true to my daily practice.
I have gotten into Tantric Yoga and Daoist Alchemy, and was silly enough to think that I could teach myself all of that with the help of books only. From today's perspective, "What was I thinking?!" and yet I did teach myself something, under the guise of self-healing. It was a major drive for me. As I never thought about stopping, I was doing it all simply for myself. It was my own wellbeing that mattered to me, my own happiness, my own health. And so I felt very comfortable doing my daily routines and reading my books, and communicating with all the wonderful people who invariably become a part of anyone's path.
It was self-healing that took me on the road, and showed me a little bit of how rich and diverse and yet same the world is.
Although I am describing it in a lineal format my life was far from lineal. And I didn't choose to call it "self-healing" by choice. I had many issues, with which I started dealing then. I was cruel and clueless and felt okay with being a user. I wasn't full of gratitude and haven't had a chance to recognize the greater forces that were at work in my life. I was kind of happy though and managed to maintain a degree of independence from my friends. I had many throughout the years, and yet not many are remaining now. May be they don't like me healthy and awake:).
Self Healing takes a form of exorcism when you allow yourself to be fully immersed into the feeling of losing your ground, opening yourself up to the Greater Out-There and realizing the pain of being separate from the universe as well as the more expansive aspects of yourself. One such form is cathartic behavior which to the onlooker may seem as though you have gone insane. Such behavior takes place during sessions when someone is working on you or you are simply meditating or doing recapitulation or whatever your particular method is. It sometimes shows in grimaces, or speaking voices and languages, body gesturing or twitching. It feels as though something is pushing it out of you. I think that mainly has to do with the fact that our personalities are made of deep layers of thoughts, experiences and emotions picked up throughout our lifetimes. With some of them we are born. When you come to awareness of complexity of our beings, everything that doesn't fall within the parameters of your "normal" behavior will seem freakish, like a devil. Of course that takes us into different questions about the nature of good and evil and I would like to dedicate a separate post to that.
To conclude this small chapter, self healing becomes invaluable when you have to deal with simple, but sometimes uncomfortable things like stomachache or cold. Making yourself a cup of chamomile tea is self healing, taking a relaxing healing bath is self healing. In other words, when you know what to do, from your gut, you don't need to run to a doctor and pay lots and lots of money for something that could be taken care of simply by using a little imagination and intuition. Self-reliance was taken to be one of the greatest virtues practiced by the ancients.
Another thing, when one goes through that critical stage during the self-healing process and they haven't hit the so-called point 0, the person is very vulnerable, this is dangerous time, as they are apt to many external influences. It is good to have friends who are as passionate about what you do as much as you. It may be crucial to have those people around you, that you can trust. They can support you and vice versa. Doing it alone is somewhat harder, not impossible but much harder. Even the Native American warriors on their vision quests could rely on somebody to return to, their family, their tribe, their totem group. How much more it is needed for us, the less organized, and the more lost ones in the face of nature and its uninhibited forces?
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