Humor

A post about humor, that's funny. A treaties from the clown who made it to the writing pad, ha ha.
No, but seriously why write about something as simple and at the same time as stupefying as "humor"? WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT LAUGHING, EH?

Well, that's just it - we all need it! Young or old, clever and dumb. Beautiful and on-the-way-to it - all need to stretch the corners of their mouths sometimes, and grin.

Unfortunately, this very spontaneous exercises is not being done much as human beings tend to take themselves very very seriously. I mean it's all just so serious and grim. Just note how the usual day of an office worker is laid out

1) Wake up. this is the most torturous part of the day. It usually causes immense psychological and psychic damage. Waking up has to be done fast for the fear of being late somewhere, to work for example. But this fast waking up doesn't stop with the week days - it continues on to weekends and vacations. A true devotee of the system always wakes up early and fast, not allowing her dreaming body to fully come back into the physical body. So she is never fully awake, and never fully rested. The working ability is thus diminished and everything else goes to hell.

2) Coffee. The most powerful of all addictions of the true devotee of the system. Without it there is no waking up and starting of the day as such. All agree that they are addicted and start bobbing their heads up and down and from side to side upon mentioning the number one magic brew - coffee. Coffee is widely available, although usually mediocre in quality as it is pre-grinded and machine-brewed, which I think is a great recipe for failure. But they charge a lot! Nevertheless, let's remember that we don't get what we pay for, so no surprise here.

3) Commute. This is where we first hit it off with the Big Brother. Bus or car or whatever you are using, the roads, the tolls the other people who you'd rather not see, the annoyance on the radio for not playing your favorite song, all comes down to one thing - you'd rather stay home. Yes, what could be better than the protective aura of your favorite dwelling, often times rented? But, since there is no choice, we wake up have a coffee and commute, as this is the only way to happiness.

4) Work place. Work work work. The only possible way to spend your day. If you work - you belong. If you don't - you belong to something else, like a different cult or something. Of course, no one truly cares what you do during your date time, but they are all very eager to judge according to their underdeveloped standards. Yes, their standards are always and always will be underdeveloped, as none of them - not the gurus, not the leaders, know what you should be doing instead. Only you know or at least have the possibility to know. So, don't get frustrated with the opinions, they will always exist. But remember, if you spend 8 hours every day of your life in one place, there must be a deeper meaning to that. The deeper meaning is "shtick". This is your "shtick"., Go look it up in the ducktionary.

5). Happy Hour. "Oooh I'm so happy we are so happy we are going to have a HAPPY hour!" But is that hour really "happy"? I doubt that it has all the qualities of true happiness - solid base, abandon, balance. Nope, this "happy hour" is there so you could let go of your unnecessary cash by giving too much of it to those do-eyed Irish waitresses who seem to pay attention specifically to you on that evening. They are just so attentive, smiling, but shrewd as god forbid you don't leave them the required tip. The you are skewered boy! No smiles for you anymore. Take a hike you cheap bastard. And what is that in your cup? A $12 sip of whiskey? Fuggetaboutit! This place is too damn noisy for you to be happy. Go home and get yourself a whole bottle for twice as much. You will be much happier.

6) The rest. Not the "rest" as in relaxing and coming to your senses. The rest of the evening! Something to do when you already have done the most important things - woke up, worked and happy hour. This is the most obscure part of the day and it usually involves some very weird manipulations. Such as for example if you are drunk - you will change the course of history by instead of going home, you will go and sit in the park! GOD FORBID! You may get in trouble with your spouse for that, as she or he didn't know where you were, which implies cheating which is of course something that you would never have thought about have you not gone to a happy hour. The fight with the spouse is optional, but is one of those necessary evils, as one of you have fallen into a habit of  complaining about your fate. Oh it could have been so much better! But WAIT, there is still hope! You have a bottle stashed up in your dwelling! It will provide a welcome respite from all that fighting, and unlike the HAPPY DAMNED HOUR you won't have to tip anyone. Just pour and enjoy!

So, oh the beloved true devotee to the system. Close your eyes, and sleep as tomorrow is another same day, and you will have to wake up fast and furious, ready to have your coffee, do your morning ablutions and commute, as this is your routine. And yes there is a deeper meaning to it and this is came to be known by the ancient Hebrews as the "shtick" - your personal piece of the cheese cake. Can you change it?